Feedback From my Kid’s First Sleepover

Thank you for sleeping over at my house aka that small place on that weird street! To better serve you and others on future overnights, kindly fill out this form. My family will take all feedback into account as we continue this time-honored tradition for kids whose parents have gone through the same rigorous vetting process as Tim Walz, and who absolutely frigging need 22 hours of free babysitting.

Name: AMINALOVER

Age: 6

Sleepover date: 9/28-9/29

Submitted: 9/30

What were your initial impressions upon arrival?

Your house is cheery, but small. Also your mom doesn’t wear a bra.

Was the cuisine satisfactory?

My mom sent me with my favorite snacks, and you said they’re better than the snacks in your house. Your mom made banana bread and we asked when it was going to be done baking every 3 minutes for 53 minutes. When I bit into it, I found a small piece of banana and said “Ew! What is this!” then you said, “Banana” and I said, “I don’t like bananas!”

How were the sleeping arrangements?

Your room is cute and I like the princess bunk bed. But the top bed is only for stuffed animals, so you told me to sleep on “jumpy,” a big fuzzy beanbag, which, honestly, was totally fine, I wanted to sleep there anyway. Mattresses are for babies.

Did you have a restful slumber?

So, when it was bedtime, we took all the stuffed animals off the top bunk for no reason, and threw them all over the room. Then I couldn’t sleep because I’m positive scary things were lurking in the clutter, and Tickle Me Elmo laughed once but NO ONE WAS NEAR HIM?? Ellie’s room is not cluttered, so it is not creepy. (This was not my first sleepover.)

Also, when we went to your parents’ room every 20 minutes for two hours, and force-crawled into their bed, your mom was nice and gave us hugs, but would not let us sleep in her bed in her room that is not scary. This was not cool because your mom will surely murder anyone who enters her room and her room only, but not your room. Your mom assured us that there’s nothing in the entire house that anyone would want. But she is wrong. They would want us. We’re awesome.

She sent your dad to bluetooth soothing piano music to a Wonderboom and scroll on his phone in your doorway forever, which was so boring we finally fell asleep around 11:30.

So I slept ok, I guess.

Did you enjoy your morning?

We woke up wired at 5 a.m. and remarked how amazing it was that neither of us was tired. Your parents are weirdly into sports for old people, and your dad put us in front of the TV for like 2 hours while he went for a bike ride and your mom sat in bed because it was “crazy early why are you not still asleep?” I liked Super Kitties, though, until I got bored.

How about breakfast?

Your dad said he’d make pumpkin pancakes from scratch and we asked when they were going to be done A LOT, then when I tried one, I said, “Ew!” because they were slightly brown, so I ate snacks out of my bag of snacks that I brought because I’m always hungry.

Anything else you’d like to note?

When we were walking to the park, you said I said your mom is better than mine, but your mom is not better, she’s just nicer.

Thank you! Your feedback has been recorded and will be incorporated should we ever choose to do this again.