Holy Sh!t, Those Waves are Huge!
And other thoughts after watching the Paris Olympics for 3 days
- I’m so stoked for this opening ceremony in my favorite city where the most athletic thing I ever did was balance on the back of a friend’s Vélib for a solid mile while the rack wires dug into my butt and thighs, a practice we called “dinking,” I don’t know why
- The ceremony is 4 hours long?
- Poop, I have to put the kids to bed
- I’ll watch on demand tomorrow!
- There are commercials? After it happened? Streaming is TV now
- YASS GAGA
- YASS Celine
- Simone is so cool and sparkly
- Can I bend backward?
- NO
- Did I just slip a disc?
- Holy sh!t those waves are huge!
- Wait how tall is 2.8 meters?
- HOLY SH!T THOSE WAVES ARE HUGE!
- GET PITTED! (I saw that on a viral video once.)
- I live next to the ocean. I should know how to surf.
- I will someday be related to an Olympian. My 6 year old saw the French surfer’s tan skin and delicate cheek bones and fluffy blonde hair and said she’s going to marry him. Santé, lovers.
- I used to race the 200 free!
- Am I too old to be an Olympian?
- NO!
- Maybe.
- Maybe not, with toradol.
- When can we watch Descendants 4?
- Why are my kids invading my thoughts?
- Look at the 400 IM! It’s pretty much the hardest swimming race, they have to do all the strokes! See what butterfly looks like? That’s very hard to do!
- Or Bluey? WHAT ABOUT BLUEY?
- Look at Tom Daley! This is his fifth Olympics! Olympics are every 4 years!
- Wait, so there have only been two Olympics in my life?
- Yes, summer Olympics.
- Woah…Look, that guy splashed too much on his entry.
- Kid #1 is correct, the commentator says that guy splashed too much. Deduction.
- Told you, mom. Bluey?
- One sec, darling. Wait, the Olympic mascot is a clit?
Party on
Real Zillow Descriptions of Homes for Sale in the California Landslide
The Magical Upside to Naming My Cat a People Name
