The Four Types of Dads

Don’t know what to get your pops this Dad’s Day? Don’t worry! Dads are actually just men, so they’re super simple to find stuff for. Just identify which of the 4 types yours is, then check out our expert recommendations below. He will be so stoked!

The Grill Dad

This guy is all about meat. Puttin’ it over fire, pokin' it with a thermometer, rubbin' it with spices. He knows every part of a cow without looking at a chalkboard in a hipster restaurant. He once heard his friend knows a guy who hunts deer and puts the meet in a secret cooler off the highway 10 miles from here. You can pick up the fresh cuts on Tuesday nights after 6, totally on the honor system. Just stick your cash in a little wooden box and grab your meat. That sounds cool.

Get him: A meat thermometer, not wireless. He wants to see the meat and the fire. It’s part of his joy.

The Techie Dad

This dad was a quant before that was a thing, and he still is now, after nobody says quant anymore. He needs to know his daily step count, stairs count, and time spent in REM. He dreams of connecting his biometrics to his fridge and speaker system. Once he has reached full optimization, he’ll unlock more family time.

Get him: An AI-enhanced toaster. It’ll use his heart rate data to burn a motivational image into his bread every morning, (the face of his beloved daughter, perhaps?) giving him the extra oomph he needs to conquer his day.

The DIY Dad

There is nothing on your property he cannot fix, after 23 trips to Home Depot and 56 hours on YouTube. That princess castle he built you from scratch was the envy of all your friends until it collapsed that one time it rained. Bethany was ok.

Get him: A nail gun. Air compression is super hot right now, and it’ll help him get started on that crown molding your mom’s been asking for since you were in diapers.

The Cycling Dad

This dad’s staying fit while minding his knees. He loves the tall socks with your silly face on them from last Father’s Day, and the rear view helmet mirror from the one before that. But there’s one thing he really wants that he cannot communicate: Something to make his undercarriage more comfortable. His balls hurt.

Get him: A pair of bike shorts with an extra thick, antimicrobial gel pad. Just hand them over. Don’t speak.